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thanks brnemer
Getting Old Prayer:
God
grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good
fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the
difference.
Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up),
here's what I've discovered:
ONE - I started out with nothing, and I
still have most of it.
TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE - I finally got my head together; now my
body is
falling apart.
FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being
absent minded...
FIVE - All reports are in; life is now
officially unfair.
SIX - If all is not lost,
where is it?
SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to
get wiser.
EIGHT - Some days you're the dog; some days you're
the hydrant.
NINE - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could
use
a few...
TEN - Kids in the back seat
cause accidents.
ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat
cause...kids.
TWELVE - It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't
been anywhere.
THIRTEEN - Only time the world beats a path to
your door is when you're in the
bathroom.
FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them
on
my knees.
FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone
decide to
play chess?
SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet
expenses...they're everywhere.
SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and
a grave is
the depth.
EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm
here after.
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