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Florence and East Valley residents Arizona
Information about
hypnosis
You know you live in Florence & East Valley when:
You buy salsa by the
quart.
Your Christmas decorations includes a half a yard
of sand and 100 paper bags.
You think that a red light
is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to
visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You
think someone driving and wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the
restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los".
You
think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You've
signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember
the name of the incumbent.
You notice your car overheating
before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and Styrofoam,
and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say Hohokam and people don't
think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges (or
rivers) with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street
than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is
not a happy hour drink.
You can say 115 degrees without
fainting.
Every other vehicle is a 4X4
You can be in the
snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100
degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in
the summer.
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake
waves.
People break out coats when temperature drops below
70.
You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive
your car.
The pool water is warmer than you are.
You can
make sun tea instantly.
People will drive over a hundred miles just
to see snow.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter
so you can use your fireplace.
Most people will not drink tap
water unless they are under dire conditions.
Most homes will have
more firearms then people.
Kids will ask "What's a
mosquito?".
People with black cars or have black upholstery in
their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or
nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade
instead of distance.
The AC is on your list of best
friends.
Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of
9:00
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You
can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for
seconds.
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature
as the hot one.
You can (correctly) pronounce the
words:
Saguaro, Tempe, Gila Bend, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly,
Mogollon Rim, Cholla, and Ajo.
It's noon in July, kids are on
summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
You
actually burn your hand opening the car door.
Sun screen is sold
year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less
than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K.
Some
fool can market mini-misters for joggers and other fools will actually buy
them.
Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is
hotter than the air inside.
No one would dream of putting vinyl
upholstery in a car.
You can
tell the difference between a dog and a coyote.
You can tell the
difference between the sound of a rattle snake and a baby
rattle.
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